Kaleb

This weekend my family and I were in Caldwell at my school for Camp Meeting. We had a wonderful time, but when we came home we were exhausted. Our day changed from happy to worried when mom was listening to all the messages we had received while we were gone. There were messages from my aunt and my grandpa saying that we needed to call one of them as soon as possible. Mom called Grandma and Grandpa but they didn't answer. A little while later she was checking her email and found an email from my uncle on the other side of the family. The email was a forward he had gotten from a co-worker telling the sad story of Gary and Wendy Roberts and the loss of their 4 year old son Kaleb. Wendy is my cousin, and Kaleb's death was the reason for all the messages. Over the nearly 24 hours since we got the news we have learned more about what happened but it's still kind of hard to believe. My cousins are in Chad and it always seemed kind of far away but not any farther than when I was little and Wendy lived across the country. Just since yesterday it seems to me that the world had at least doubled in size and that she is terribly far away. I only met Kaleb once at a family reunion but we would occasionally get emails with pictures and stories of him and his little sister Cherise. Last night Daddy showed me a verse that was special to him when he was in Africa in 1983.

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life.
Matthew 19:29

It's been a tough couple of days but it's comforting to know that there are great people with Wendy and her family and that God can and will bring good out of this.

Homeleave Sucks!

Well, it's finally homeleave again. I came home Wednesday, and I'm already wishing I was back at school. My best friend was going to come home with me, but she ended up going to the basketball tournament to help Stephenie take pictures for yearbook. I was a little sad, but whatever she wants is ok with me. Then Harry told me that "Casanova" our mutual best friend/my ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend and that she'll be at the wrestling meet I'm going to tonight. Great. I'm sure she's really nice and everything, but I still don't like it very much. Then last night Travis IM'd me saying that I was a horrible friend because our friend Suzie is cutting and I wasn't doing anything about it. Well, I didn't know until he told me. On top of all this, home doesn't feel like home anymore, the dorm is definitely home now. And my dog, Petie, has been really sick lately and yeterday the vet talked to a specialist and we put Petie down today. Mom and Dad are still gone taking care of that. So, I have a cold and feel miserable, my dog is dieing, my best friend has a new girlfriend and probably doesn't even remember me now, another best friend is cutting, and apparently I'm a horrible person. Yeah, homeleave is awesome. I can't wait to get back to school.

Dorm Stress

k, so everyone always says the 6 weeks after Christmas break are the most horrible

and I already agree

you know how I love to take care of everyone, and sometimes forget to take care of myself?

well... it's getting me in trouble again

everyone is stressed out about everything, not just finals, just... everything

so they all come to me

well, not all of them, but several of them

and we sit and talk and cry and i do everything i can to "fix" everything for them

well, eventually it all got to be too much

and i could barely act ok

but i somehow managed to fool most people

the exceptions were Marti, Suzie, and Travis

anyway, I talked to Travis some

and right before he left the dorm last night, he said i could call him if i needed to talk

well... you know how i feel about phones

but he called me, and we talked for probably an hour and a half

and i just sat on Marti's bed eating chocolate and crying and talking to Trav

eventually I had to go to worship

but that was ok, i guess

i thought a lot during worship, and i thought i had things figured out

but i was so exhausted that my the time i got back up stairs, I couldn't remember what I had thought of

or what i had figured out.

ugh. So, I got Marti to call Travis back after worship because I was starting to go crazy again. We talked and talked and talked, we actually ended up talking for another hour and 46 minutes. it was weird, but it helped a lot. I really don't know exactly what I was upset about, but I think I was just over loaded dealing with everything in my life, and everyonelse's.