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Senior Year

Senior year is almost over! I can't even believe it! Nine more school days filled with projects, homework, dissections, and lots of planning! All of this means that although I do have new free periods (gymnastics is over for the year), I can't spend them sleeping or even chilling in the library. Unless "chilling" suddenly involves working on that never ending list of details. Most of these details seem to involve spending money that I don't want to spend. yeah. there's a reason money is the most popular graduation gift. the starving college student thing starts early. Oh well, it'll be worth it. Thanks to Justin, I'm not stressed out. During the preparations for Senior Recognition he taught me to just relax and focus on the big picture. Details are nice, but not worth stressing about most of the time. Although our class has been rather screwed over (thanks a lot class of 2010) we have managed to have a decent year. the school wide drama hasn't helped much though. Between the end of many old traditions, lots of new rules (Seniors 2010) and the dismissal of a dearly loved teacher and coach, it's been a rough one. I guess that just builds character though, right? Anyway, after a crazy weekend full of boiled frogs (they jumped into the hotsprings and died), dead snakes (near the hotspring), crazy adventures in the "wilderness" with Michelle, and an exhausting last gymnastics performance, I am back at school trying to deal with the mixed emotions of a quickly nearing graduation. Facebook is full of posts regarding various graduations. It's all rather overwhelming. My highschool years have flown by. Anyway, I'm off to grade a pile of papers and then attend to my seniorly duties. More blogs to come as I struggle to focus on the "to do" list.

wow...

So, I guess I kinda fail at this blogging thing... Life has been really crazy, I promise I wasn't just biting my nails or knitting sweaters out of belly button lint. ha. I'm a senior now, it's hard to believe, but true. I've got three student offices, two jobs, eight classes, a busy social life, and a very high stress level. Yesterday, I got a long email from my bestie that's gone off to college. It was very nice to hear of all her adventures, but it made me long for college. It's going to be fun. Now I just have to chose one. Oh yeah, and it would probably be a good idea to stop procrastinating all of the stuff on my to do list... After crossing off a few things already, I'm down to 12 things that must be done sometime today. ugh... Most need to be done in the next few hours because there is a guys basketball game tonight and I think the dorm will be closed. I need to do Jag Den stuff though, so even if the dorm were open, it probably wouldn't help me much.

As far as actual classwork goes, life is pretty good right now. I need to write a paper on the theology of marriage though, and that just seems so boring that I've been putting it off for weeks. ugh. In English IV we're reading Macbeth. I despise Lady Macbeth, and I'd like to have a little talk with Shakespeare. Did that man write any good stories? I seriously doubt it.

Thanksgiving break was amazing, I got to sleep a lot, and spend time with the family. The last morning I was home, we looked out and saw Smokey, one of our cats. It was super exciting because he hasn't been around in months! He's a little thin, but otherwise looks pretty good. No idea where he was all this time, but we're glad to have him back.

Senior Project is starting to growl at me again. As much as I love knitting, I hate having to do it. Maybe doing something I love for my project isn't such a great idea. The year is flying by and I still have so much to do! I'm thinking I'll talk to Jordan, the head of our new Snow Club, and see if we can do something together. Like have the knitting group make stuff for the boarders or something... I don't know, that's my newest idea.

Anyway, I'm off to try to shorten this ugly list of mine. Blogging helped clear my head, so maybe I'll start doing this again. haha. It might even be a good way to work on the journal I have to keep of my Senior Project... hmm...

Kaleb

This weekend my family and I were in Caldwell at my school for Camp Meeting. We had a wonderful time, but when we came home we were exhausted. Our day changed from happy to worried when mom was listening to all the messages we had received while we were gone. There were messages from my aunt and my grandpa saying that we needed to call one of them as soon as possible. Mom called Grandma and Grandpa but they didn't answer. A little while later she was checking her email and found an email from my uncle on the other side of the family. The email was a forward he had gotten from a co-worker telling the sad story of Gary and Wendy Roberts and the loss of their 4 year old son Kaleb. Wendy is my cousin, and Kaleb's death was the reason for all the messages. Over the nearly 24 hours since we got the news we have learned more about what happened but it's still kind of hard to believe. My cousins are in Chad and it always seemed kind of far away but not any farther than when I was little and Wendy lived across the country. Just since yesterday it seems to me that the world had at least doubled in size and that she is terribly far away. I only met Kaleb once at a family reunion but we would occasionally get emails with pictures and stories of him and his little sister Cherise. Last night Daddy showed me a verse that was special to him when he was in Africa in 1983.

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life.
Matthew 19:29

It's been a tough couple of days but it's comforting to know that there are great people with Wendy and her family and that God can and will bring good out of this.

Homeleave Sucks!

Well, it's finally homeleave again. I came home Wednesday, and I'm already wishing I was back at school. My best friend was going to come home with me, but she ended up going to the basketball tournament to help Stephenie take pictures for yearbook. I was a little sad, but whatever she wants is ok with me. Then Harry told me that "Casanova" our mutual best friend/my ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend and that she'll be at the wrestling meet I'm going to tonight. Great. I'm sure she's really nice and everything, but I still don't like it very much. Then last night Travis IM'd me saying that I was a horrible friend because our friend Suzie is cutting and I wasn't doing anything about it. Well, I didn't know until he told me. On top of all this, home doesn't feel like home anymore, the dorm is definitely home now. And my dog, Petie, has been really sick lately and yeterday the vet talked to a specialist and we put Petie down today. Mom and Dad are still gone taking care of that. So, I have a cold and feel miserable, my dog is dieing, my best friend has a new girlfriend and probably doesn't even remember me now, another best friend is cutting, and apparently I'm a horrible person. Yeah, homeleave is awesome. I can't wait to get back to school.

Dorm Stress

k, so everyone always says the 6 weeks after Christmas break are the most horrible

and I already agree

you know how I love to take care of everyone, and sometimes forget to take care of myself?

well... it's getting me in trouble again

everyone is stressed out about everything, not just finals, just... everything

so they all come to me

well, not all of them, but several of them

and we sit and talk and cry and i do everything i can to "fix" everything for them

well, eventually it all got to be too much

and i could barely act ok

but i somehow managed to fool most people

the exceptions were Marti, Suzie, and Travis

anyway, I talked to Travis some

and right before he left the dorm last night, he said i could call him if i needed to talk

well... you know how i feel about phones

but he called me, and we talked for probably an hour and a half

and i just sat on Marti's bed eating chocolate and crying and talking to Trav

eventually I had to go to worship

but that was ok, i guess

i thought a lot during worship, and i thought i had things figured out

but i was so exhausted that my the time i got back up stairs, I couldn't remember what I had thought of

or what i had figured out.

ugh. So, I got Marti to call Travis back after worship because I was starting to go crazy again. We talked and talked and talked, we actually ended up talking for another hour and 46 minutes. it was weird, but it helped a lot. I really don't know exactly what I was upset about, but I think I was just over loaded dealing with everything in my life, and everyonelse's.

Academy Life

Academy life is surprisingly different that it may seem. Life in the dorm is also unusual. Some people are really easy to get along with, and some just drive me (and everyone else) insane.

I always thought it was dumb that people were so mean to Freshman, but I'm starting to understand. I think that by their Freshman year guys should be old enough to understand and listen when they are told to back off, or not touch. Apparently not though. I guess it's not just the Freshman, but allot of the guys here. They just can't keep their hands to themselves and they never listen when we ask them to back up or give us some space. An interesting thing my friend Amanda and I have noticed is that when certain guys are around, or the deans or a teacher are close by, they are more likely to listen. I really don't think that asking them to give us some space and not touch us is asking too much.

It's just really frustrating. I talked to my friend Harry about it last night, and he suggested that I avoid hugging guys. I think that's a good idea, so I'll start working on that. I also talked to Suzie and she pointed out that if we ask them to leave us alone and they don't listen; it's sexual harassment. And she's right. So, Amanda, Suzie and I are going to work together more to make the guys back off. Yesterday in Algebra one of the Freshman was being really obnoxious, and not listening when we asked him to back off and not touch us, but he wouldn't listen until Amanda and I both glared at him and told him to sit down. Urgh, Ramon sent me an email yesterday saying that if I need him to murder anyone to call him and he'll even make sure they get extra time in purgatory. He also said he was just kidding, but I kinda like that idea.

This blog kinda makes Academy life sound horrible but it really isn't that bad, just rigt now I'm thinking more about a few of the negative things and looking for ways to resolve them.